5 must-have sex skills for modern singles

The idea of learning sex skills might seem a bit weird to you.

I mean, nobody runs a class called ‘Sex 101’, right? It’s instinct, baby! But that’s not how it works. We’re supposed to magically know, but in practice the sex we have tends to be less than perfect. We feel anxious. We have awkward moments. We wonder if we’re doing the right thing. When incredible sex happens, we feel good about it – but will we be able to repeat the performance? 

Being great at sex comes from a willingness to try new things, an openness to learning, and a lot of practice. It happens gradually, one date at a time.

Here are five pieces of knowledge that are essential to good encounters. Don’t leave home without ’em.

1. Learn the Anatomy of the Clitoris

Did you know that the clit is actually a pretty complicated piece of equipment? It’s not just the bit we can see sticking out; there are longer parts under the skin that surround most of the pussy. Knowing what goes where means you have a lot more options for stimulation than just ‘hit that button like it’s hot.’

 

For an easy ‘in’ watch this very entertaining video. Looking for more practical techniques? I recommend ‘Becoming Cliterate’ by Dr Laurie Mintz – the book covers both biological info, and specific sexual techniques.

The payoff: You’re much more likely to hit the right spots.

2. Use Condoms With Confidence

If you have a dick, or hook up with people that do, condoms are essential. Getting the safer sex stuff happening doesn’t need to be awkward. If you know how to use condoms like a pro, it becomes just another part of the foreplay.

 

Here are the basics, courtesy of Tripp Advice. Don’t be afraid to practice…get your packet-opening and rolling-on skills perfect before you go on your next date.

The payoff: being able to find a condom, open the packet and get it installed without breaking eye contact with your partner. Because that’s damn sexy.

3. Learn the Anatomy of the Penis

Like the clitoris, the penis is more complicated than you might think. Penis-owners are just as particular as pussy-owners when it comes to how they like to be touched – everyone likes it a little bit differently . Knowing the anatomy will give you specific areas to focus on and add to your repertoire of techniques.

 

How: watch Bing and Hanna from SexEd explain the anatomy of the penis.

The payoff: sexual techniques they’ll keep cumming back for (ha ha.)

4. Do Butt Play the Right Way

A lot of folks haven’t tried anal sex, or tried once and never again because it didn’t feel great. Learning to do anal right is a bit of a process, and if it’s rushed you can end up damaged or in pain (and conclude that it’s not fun). But anal can be amazing for a lot of people – especially guys, who often have a lot of nerve endings in their butts that women don’t. If you’re interested in giving it a go, it’s well worth doing some research first and going slowly.

For a quick intro, I recommend ‘An Exceedingly Polite Guide to Anal Sex.

The Payoff: It’s a ‘hole new world.’ (sorry, I couldn’t help myself).

5. Locate the G-Spot

The G-Spot is a sensitive place inside a vagina, located a few inches inside and on the upper surface. G-spot stimulation is one of the things that makes PIV sex feel good (especially at the right angle). G-spot stimulation using the fingers is also possible – and highly recommended. If you’re trying to help a woman orgasm, finding the G-Spot is a really good idea.

 

Above: Pour Decisions with Candace on finding the G-spot.

The payoff: you’re that much closer to ‘I make women cum 90% of the time, all the time’

Being great at sex doesn’t come naturally. It comes from a willingness to try new things, an openness to learning, and a bit of practice. The more you know (and put into practice) the better a lover you become.

The idea of learning sex skills might seem a bit weird to you.

I mean, nobody runs a class called ‘Sex 101’, right? It’s instinct, baby! But that’s not how it works. We’re supposed to magically know, but in practice the sex we have tends to be less than perfect. We feel anxious. We have awkward moments. We wonder if we’re doing the right thing. When incredible sex happens, we feel good about it – but will we be able to repeat the performance? 

Being great at sex comes from a willingness to try new things, an openness to learning, and a lot of practice. It happens gradually, one date at a time.

Here are five pieces of knowledge that are essential to good encounters. Don’t leave home without ’em.

1. Learn the Anatomy of the Clitoris

Did you know that the clit is actually a pretty complicated piece of equipment? It’s not just the bit we can see sticking out; there are longer parts under the skin that surround most of the pussy. Knowing what goes where means you have a lot more options for stimulation than just ‘hit that button like it’s hot.’

 

For an easy ‘in’ watch this very entertaining video. Looking for more practical techniques? I recommend ‘Becoming Cliterate’ by Dr Laurie Mintz – the book covers both biological info, and specific sexual techniques.

The payoff: You’re much more likely to hit the right spots.

2. Use Condoms With Confidence

If you have a dick, or hook up with people that do, condoms are essential. Getting the safer sex stuff happening doesn’t need to be awkward. If you know how to use condoms like a pro, it becomes just another part of the foreplay.

 

Here are the basics, courtesy of Tripp Advice. Don’t be afraid to practice…get your packet-opening and rolling-on skills perfect before you go on your next date.

The payoff: being able to find a condom, open the packet and get it installed without breaking eye contact with your partner. Because that’s damn sexy.

Related:

3. Learn the Anatomy of the Penis

Like the clitoris, the penis is more complicated than you might think. Penis-owners are just as particular as pussy-owners when it comes to how they like to be touched – everyone likes it a little bit differently . Knowing the anatomy will give you specific areas to focus on and add to your repertoire of techniques.

 

How: watch Bing and Hanna from SexEd explain the anatomy of the penis.

The payoff: sexual techniques they’ll keep cumming back for (ha ha.)

4. Do Butt Play the Right Way

A lot of folks haven’t tried anal sex, or tried once and never again because it didn’t feel great. Learning to do anal right is a bit of a process, and if it’s rushed you can end up damaged or in pain (and conclude that it’s not fun). But anal can be amazing for a lot of people – especially guys, who often have a lot of nerve endings in their butts that women don’t. If you’re interested in giving it a go, it’s well worth doing some research first and going slowly.

For a quick intro, I recommend ‘An Exceedingly Polite Guide to Anal Sex.

The Payoff: It’s a ‘hole new world.’ (sorry, I couldn’t help myself).

5. Locate the G-Spot

The G-Spot is a sensitive place inside a vagina, located a few inches inside and on the upper surface. G-spot stimulation is one of the things that makes PIV sex feel good (especially at the right angle). G-spot stimulation using the fingers is also possible – and highly recommended. If you’re trying to help a woman orgasm, finding the G-Spot is a really good idea.

 

Above: Pour Decisions with Candace on finding the G-spot.

The payoff: you’re that much closer to ‘I make women cum 90% of the time, all the time’

Being great at sex doesn’t come naturally. It comes from a willingness to try new things, an openness to learning, and a bit of practice. The more you know (and put into practice) the better a lover you become.

Like this article?

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on pinterest
Pinterest

Leave a comment

More Articles

Podcast

Podcast Episode 10: Wish I’d known! With Eva Sless.

This podcast episode is all about the sex advice I wish I’d learned earlier. If I could hop in a time machine and go back to when I was eighteen, or twenty, or twenty-five, I’d have SO much to say to my younger self! Also joining me on this time travel journey is Eva Sless – a writer, sex worker and the author of ‘A Teen Girls’ Guide to Getting Off.’

Read More »
.