The idea of learning sex skills might seem a bit weird to you.
I mean, nobody runs a class called ‘Sex 101’, right? It’s instinct, baby! But that’s not how it works. We’re supposed to magically know, but in practice the sex we have tends to be less than perfect. We feel anxious. We have awkward moments. We wonder if we’re doing the right thing. When incredible sex happens, we feel good about it – but will we be able to repeat the performance? Who knows? OMG, the anxiety!
Being great at sex doesn’t come ‘naturally’. It comes from a willingness to try new things, an openness to learning, and a bit of practice. Becoming a sexual magician happens gradually – one skill at a time, one date at a time. The more you know (and put into practice) the better a lover you become. It really is that simple.
Here five pieces of knowledge that are essential to good encounters. Don’t leave home without ’em.
1. Learn the Anatomy of the Clitoris
Did you know that the clit is actually a a huge and complicated piece of equipment? It’s not just the bit we can see sticking out; it actually has longer parts under the skin that encompass most of the pussy. Knowing what goes where means you have a lot more options for stimulation than just ‘hit that button like it’s hot.’
For an easy ‘in’ watch this very entertaining video. When you’re ready to get a bit more technical, this article at Clue is the next step. When you’re ready for practical techniques, I’d recommend ‘Becoming Cliterate’ by Dr Laurie Mintz – the book covers both historical info, and specific sexual techniques.
The payoff: You’ll be taking ‘how to find the clit’ to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL.
2. Use Condoms With Confidence
If you care about your health, condoms are pretty much a requirement for casual flings. What a lot of people don’t realise is that how enjoyable practicing safer sex is has a lot to do with your skills and confidence. If you’re awkward or reluctant, it sucks – but if you know how to use condoms like a pro, it’s a huge turn-on.
Here are the basics courtesy of Tripp Advice. Don’t be afraid to waste a few in practice…get your packet-opening and rolling-on skills worked out so that you can be suave about it when you’re on a date.
The payoff: being able to find a condom, open the packet and get it installed without breaking eye contact with your partner. Because that’s damn sexy.
3. Learn the Anatomy of the Penis
Like the clitoris, the penis is a complex organ. It might seem pretty obvious what to do with it, but in fact penis-owners are just as particular as pussy-owners when it comes to methods of stimulation. Knowing a bit of anatomy will give you specific areas to focus on and add to your repertoire of techniques.
How: watch Bing and Hanna from SexEd explain the anatomy of the penis. When you’re ready to learn some new techniques, Mens Toy Hub has this amazing video.
The payoff: sexual techniques they’ll keep cumming back for (ha ha.)
4. Do Butt Play the Right Way
A lot of folks haven’t tried anal sex, or tried once and never again because it didn’t feel great. Learning to do anal right is a bit of a process, and if it’s rushed you can end up damaged or in pain (and conclude that it’s not fun). But anal can be amazing for a lot of people – especially guys, who often have a lot of nerve endings in their butts that women don’t. If you’re interested in giving it a go, it’s well worth doing some research first and going slowly.
For a quick intro, I recommend ‘An Exceedingly Polite Guide to Anal Sex.‘
The Payoff: It’s a ‘hole new world.’ (sorry, I couldn’t help myself).
5. Locate the G-Spot
The G-Spot is a sensitive place inside a vagina, located a few inches inside and on the upper surface. G-spot stimulation is one of the things that makes PIV sex feel good (especially at the right angle). G-pot stimulation using the fingers is also possible – and highly recommended. If you’re trying to get a woman to orgasm, finding the g-Spot is a really good idea.
Above: Pour Decisions with Candace on finding the G-spot.
The payoff: you’re that much closer to ‘I make women cum 90% of the time, all the time’
Being great at sex doesn’t come naturally. It comes from a willingness to try new things, an openness to learning, and a bit of practice. The more you know (and put into practice) the better a lover you become.